No, not Kim Kardashian.

Just incompatible goals.

I want to send my husband through school, so that he can get a job and I can quit working.

I want to get my Masters Degree in Biological Sciences.

I want to have three kids.

I want to be promoted and successful in my career as a scientist, while I stay home and make my living off my part-time freelance programming business.

I want to build a house with beautiful quality materials, that isn’t pretentious or ostentatious.

Did I mention that I would love a classic Colonial with a grand staircase, and a 2nd floor library with it’s own balcony area?  For all my books, you know.

Where I can go to hide from the kids I so desperately want to stay home and spend all my time with.

I want to give tons of money to charity.  I want to pay for my hypothetical childrens’ educations.

I want to make my own wine, and cheese, and crochet an entire blanket, while I am doing graduate studies as a stay-at-home mom, who makes a six-figure salary as a successful scientist, in her pajamas, from the comfort of her 1500 sq foot Colonial complete with grand staircase, four bedrooms, spacious library, music room, and formal dining room, pursuing the epitome of worldly success and at the same time being the best Christian ever.

Maybe by the time I’m forty I’ll figure it out?

Tick, tock….